Bring the Candide back into the Candidats

I'm not Martin Luther King admetidelly, but nevertheless I have a dream.

I dream that some day a politician will stand on a podium and will answer a "People wants to know" question with something like "Yessir, in my youth I ingested large amount of alcoholic beverage, stuffed a bunch of various material up my nose, frenetically used my reproductive system for hopefully non reproductive purpose, drove like a maniac and used foul language at the drop of the hat, I said amazingly unkind things about the ROTC ! Those were the days! I have not one aiota of shame or remorse and if I was back in the same situation I pretty much would do the same thing again! So what is it to you Bozo!. Now by any chance would you happen to have in your microcephalic upper part a question relevant with my ability to motivate this country forty years later and steer it into an intelligent planned course?"

That would make my voting choice much less painfull.

Wondering about a "Gun Guy" intimate moments.

Some events of the few past weeks have lead me to wonder a bit about this bizarre attitude toward guns so deeply ingrained in the fabric of our "American way of life".

The defense of a perceived right to bear arm at will is a highly emotional issue and both bitter and passionate arguments are made to ward any attempt to bring sanity to the issue

The phrase " They will take away my gun only by prying it from my cold dead fingers" has been thrown around a bit, usually at the end of a melodramatic speech in front of a definitively receptive audience of fellows "Sportsmen".

To be very honest, that has consistently puzzled me, since as the dirty old men that I am, my immediate thought went to the partner or spouse of the permanent gun bearing speaker who, at the time of intimate and passionate embrace must be pondering two vital issues:

1) Is a round in the chamber of the ever present shotgun/rifle?

2) Is the safety of the weapon on?

You have to admit that the concept of being on the embrace of a frenetically humping individual holding a gun possibly loaded with armor piercing rounds can be a bit disturbing.
In this case the concept of safe sex has tidily to do with condoms or all the other usual paraphernalia but basic shooting range discipline instead.
I guess that we are looking at one of the few occasions when premature ejaculation becomes a blessing!

Now I understand why, usually, the mates or partners of the average 'Gun Guy" are a rather nervous and jittery bunch, avid consumers of Valium and other compounds.

Wonder how humanity was able to survive for centuries, thru invasion, Genghis Khan, Attila and the rest without this reputedly indispensable weapon?

Well that's my thought for the evening. Now a nice glasse of a decent red wine will help convince me that those are indeed genial cogitations!