To be a Dad

Yesterday Choupette (my Wife, Companion and more than better half since 1969) went to the Long Beach Aquarium with Denis, Sandie and Cassidy (Our Son, his Spouse and our Grand Daughter). That was one of those days that stick to the ribs of your memory and that you wish would never end. Afterwards we went to Denis’s and Sandie’s house for a little of those to rare time when we can enjoy each other and be a little part of their wonderful family life. Then life took over and came the long drive from Redondo Beach to Murrieta, about an hour and a half.
On the way back Choupette was exhausted and quickly went asleep leaving me alone with good old myself to ponder another great philosophical one sided argument,
I stated focusing on Fatherhood and the strangeness of the situation. We all enter the position amazingly unaware of the fact that we are totally unprepared for it due to one basic amazing prejudice: We are all convinced that we are going to do a pretty darn better job than the previous guy and we all are convinced that we have everything single answer possible on that subject (or know which book to find it in). Beside we are all married to a wonderful companion who also (even if she cannot conceivably have gone into fatherhood herself) has also all the answers!
Been there, done that!
After badly fumbling thru the experience myself, I know that in the average it takes you just a little bit over 25 to 27 years to find out how to be a semi decent Dad, by which time you are definitively out of business and more likely into the process of screwing-up being a semi-decent Grand Father.
Somebody said that the two hardest things life in life are to teach your children how to fly then to let them fly.
My three kids soared and every time my heart bled and to some point is still bleeding, I knew they had to go into their own space, but I have never learned to accept that their life, if it is to flourish, has to be at arm length of my own, somebody else has to become the catalyst and focus.
I was at best an OK Dad. Like others I set standards for my kids that I, as a kid would have had one heck of a time to reach, I made bad decisions and at time set bad priorities, I should have known that business cannot be a priority over some of my children milestones. An award without a Dad to witness it is a shallow event! I fell in business at a time when my family badly needed the resources of that business and went to the deep end when my children needed me.
My children overcame and are now making lives of their own, and here I, on the sideline, have to learn from my grandchildren how to make myself relevant!
Finally after two tries I think I got the answer: Dad, Grand Fathers we are all in the same boat! We are not Coach, Motivators, Goal setters or Mentors! We are only Co-Students in the great school of life! There should be a law forcing us in exile the second we feel that we have all the answers! Please somebody kick me when I claim i do!
Good Night!